


Heaven is more wicked than Earth

by Staubengel



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 20:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16166243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staubengel/pseuds/Staubengel
Summary: So apparently, Gabriel buys porn in the upcoming Good Omens TV series.Naturally, I had to write a fic about the purpose of it.





	Heaven is more wicked than Earth

**Author's Note:**

> The tweet that proves it all:  
> https://twitter.com/TobyonTV/status/1047071664771620864

“Raphael, I'm back!”

“I know,” Raphael purred from inside the bedroom. “Since exactly 2 minutes and 45 seconds. I felt it tingle when you arrived back Up. If you come here, I can specify where, if you want to.”

Gabriel smirked as he came into the bedroom, his eyes, without searching, finding the ones of his lover who had sprawled himself luxuriously on their bed covers.

“I had a feeling you were going to say something like this,” he stated and waved a brown paper parcel he held in his hand. “Good thing I brought something for the occasion. I thought you might enjoy it, and I guess I was right.”

Raphael's eyes became wide in pretended disbelief and he made an effort to curve his spine up a bit further to display himself even more picturesquely on the covers.

“You brought me something?” he aspirated sweetly.

“Not you, us,” Gabriel corrected. He tossed the parcel to the bed and shrugged out of his suit jacket, his hand loosening his tie right after the movement. “I found it in a very interesting little store beside Aziraphale's bookshop. I feel like I should go down there more often. I didn't know videos could be used to create _this.”_

Raphael abandoned his sinful presentation of himself in favour of grabbing the parcel and having a look inside. Seconds later, he burst out into laughter so hard that he fell to the side and had to clutch his stomach.

Gabriel, self-satisfied, smirked once more.

“Are you amused by my pick or by the fact that humans invented those items?” he asked as he stepped out of his shoes and shoved them aside.

“How did you get this _up_ here?” Raphael giggled, having another look at the parcel and ending up wheezing for air from it.

“We are angels,” Gabriel said as he sat down on the bed next to Raphael and pulled the parcel away from his fingers to get the contents out and have a look at them himself. “It is our duty to know what sins the humans are engaging in right now and to educate ourselves on their downfall.”

Raphael sounded like he was close to suffocating.

Grinning, Gabriel waved his hand at the wall elegantly and let a television set complete with a DVD player appear, which would function despite the fact that Gabriel had no clue how a television set or a DVD player even were supposed to work together.

He got up and opened the DVD box on his way to the player, shoving the disc inside the slit provided for it, and let the screen jump into action. Colours and shapes flickered up on it, and Raphael let out a desperate howling sound as he tried to laugh and breathe at the same time.

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow at him amusedly as he came back to the bed, unbuttoning his shirt on his way there.

“Are you going to keep laughing,” he asked, “or are you going to help me inspect this appalling material, in order to know the hopeless, horrible sins those poor souls down there are endangered with?”

“Can't decide yet,” Raphael squeaked, wiping the tears away from his wet cheeks, but at least he tried to stop his laughter. “I guess you have to tell me a bit more about this, about our way of working and all that, just so that I can take this seriously.”

Gabriel's smirk widened as he leaned over the bed, crawling over Raphael like a cat ready to charge its target.

“That's easy, really,” he promised in a hoarse whisper, letting his hand slide down Raphael's front and unbuttoning his shirt with the movement. “First, I will undress you and then I will undress myself, and then we will dig out all the kinks and plays we can think of, and we will try them all out on each other, and when we're finished and still able to think, we will determinate if what we did was worse than what was shown in this movie, and if it was, then we know that we can still rest easy for if Heaven is more wicked than Earth, we Angels have nothing to worry about.”

Raphael grinned widely and grabbed the front of Gabriel's shirt to pull him closer.

“I think I like this form of investigation,” he hummed, bringing his foot up to run along Gabriel's shank. “And knowing you and your dirty mind, humanity is far away from getting into trouble.”

Gabriel grinned at him in return, a waggish promise. Then he dove down into a ravishing, wild kiss which Raphael reciprocated willingly.

They didn't even hear the offending sounds coming from the TV anymore a few minutes later. If that was everything that humanity had to offer, Heaven definitely was still ahead of them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)  
> Feedback is much appreciated <3


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